Thirty Pounds! Yay!

First things first: A few of my friends on Facebook have said that they were having trouble posting comments. I went in under my "spam email" account and was able to post a comment before I deleted it after a couple of tries. So please, keep trying. I like hearing words of advice and encouragement from friends, especially from those that have been through this themselves.

I checked my weight this morning. Thirty pounds down! Woo-hoo! I am liking what I see when I look in the mirror. I'm sure I will like it even better after the surgery when I drop another hundred pounds. :)

As of today, I've decided that I'm going to go off the pre-op diet and eat some actual food. This doesn't mean eating a bunch of carbs-in fact, I've eaten extremely little in that department. But it does mean that I've ate chicken, and vegetables with a little more starch (peas). I did this because along with meeting my pre-op weight-loss goal, I have gotten tired of feeling lethargic and dizzy. I'm always tired and often struggle to stay standing for a long period of time. It also put me in quite a "mood" at work, a place where my ability to provide customer service is very important.

That said, I almost fell back into old habits once I got out of work. I started looking in the fridge for things to eat, stuff that I could justify shoving into my gullet hole. Aside from baby food, my fridge is pretty much empty, though (no need to go grocery shopping when all you eat are protein shakes and green beans). Upon looking at a jar of jelly I thought "Peanut butter and jelly is good for you, right? I mean, six year olds eat it". Thankfully common sense kicked in and screamed "NO! IT'S NOTHING BUT SUGAR, DUMBSHIT! GET YOUR ASS TO KROGER AND BUY SOME BROCCOLI!" So, I went to the store and bought some broccoli, along with a few other things for the family.

But now I'm wondering how things will go after the surgery when I'm able to eat without restrictions. Will I go back to the old habits and eat junk food just for the sake of eating? I came so close to slipping today and I haven't even started yet.

Speaking of slipping, tomorrow is what gastric patients often call their "last supper". After beating the ever-loving shit out of myself at the gym (I have a goal of creating a 2,000 calorie deficit), I'm going to buy some pizza and consume what will likely be my last slices with my family. A few days ago I planned to eat ALL the pizza, but now that I'm not starving to death I think I can manage some self-control. If not, I've been on enough diets to know that one meal won't break you. And if it does, I'll be making myself pay for it on Saturday. I'll also be having some alcohol, as it will be the last drink I can have for three months. The last time I went that long without drinking I was in Iraq!

That's all for today. Gotta get to bed.