Yep. At least that's what my mom told me.
She asked me today if I was in any pain, and I told her it feels like a constant tight squeezing around my solar plexus. She then revealed that that's what a woman typically goes through once a month.
Thanks, mom. I already feel emasculated for not being able to lift more than 10 pounds or go driving on my own. Just toss another log on the fire!
That said, ladies, I'm sorry for every joke I've ever made in that department. This hurts like hell, and I'd hate to have to deal with it every month.
Anyway, my instructions in this stage of the post-op diet are to be on strictly liquids. I've been drinking G2 so I can get some electrolytes in and don't just flush all the salt out of my body. I still have to take some of my Glipizide to keep my blood-sugar levels under control, but barely an eighth of my old dose. My blood pressure has skyrocketed since the surgery, so I'm taking all sorts of meds for that as well. In a day or two, I'll start buying some fruit and vegetables to make freshly squeezed juice. It'll have a lot more nutrients than the sport drinks I'm consuming, which any nutritionist can tell you is typically shit in terms of health food.
The doc said that as soon as I can consume 64 ounces of clear liquids, I can start adding protein shakes. So after taking down 64 ounces of G2 I had one of my leftover Atkins shakes from my pre-op diet. They go down much easier than the sugar-water, and I was able to finish one in about five minutes (compared to the G2, which took about 16 hours). So much to my surprise, I'm ahead of schedule on when I'll be able to eat solid foods. This is a very good thing, as I don't want to eat nothing at Christmas dinner. Sure, I'll just be eating steamed veggies, but at least I'll be eating something.
Aside from the mild, chronic-pain in my solar plexus, the only real problem I'm having is the boredom. This surgery has knocked out every one of my vices (even the healthy ones like weight-lifting), and I'm very limited in what I can do with my daughter, so I've been finding myself just spending all my time on Facebook. I hate not being at work. I thought I'd like the time off, but I can't stand it. I need something to do.
I know my wife bought me a video game for Christmas. I asked her to give me one early, but she's swearing up and down that she didn't buy me one. Suuuuuure, honey. Babe, you can't lie worth a shit!
Anyway, if any other relatives bought me a video game and wouldn't mind parting with it now, when I'll actually have time to play it and won't be stuck in school and work between January and April, it'll be greatly appreciated. Please let me know, as I am bored as fuck right now.
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