Jesus, I haven't written since July.
Well, that's no surprise. Between May and September, I didn't work out at all. I also ate a lot of junk food. It's why my last entry talked about my kids but not about fitness. I wasn't even trying to get fit.
I wrote a long time ago that even if you're injured, you can still do something to get in better physical condition. So if you're injured, you should avoid giving up and find something that you can do.
I didn't do that. I gave up. I had a jacked up shoulder, but I didn't run. I did nothing, and I ate a bunch of unhealthy shit. I knew I was gaining weight. I could see it, and so did my family.
So, one day in September, I stepped on the scale. It said 292. I gained 42 fucking pounds, and I was almost back in the 300 club, a place I promised myself I'd never go back to. So I went to a place called the Medical Weight Loss Clinic to lose weight, and I started running again. I worked my legs on weight training days even though I couldn't lift with my arms.
I wanted to blog about going back on the diet and working out again, but at 292 pounds I was too ashamed. I was angry at myself for letting my body nearly revert back to where I was pre-surgery.
I'm now down to 256 pounds. Just six pounds away from where I peaked.
Medical Weight Loss Clinic gave some good pointers, but I still had to cheat on my diet because no matter how many times they swear differently (and they did), they have no idea how to deal with athletic people. They didn't know how to deal with a guy that burns anywhere from 1,100 to 1,500 calories in an exercise session. So I ate extra meat, protein shakes, and occasionally had to carbo-load to keep my blood sugar from hitting rock bottom. .So I'll be quitting this diet next week and start working on carb cycling. A lot of athletes swear by it, so I'll give it a shot, because...
My shoulder is finally healed up! Yay!
After waiting for months for my shoulder to heal on its own, I decided to get an MRI and saw a sports medicine specialist. The reason for my injury was a calcium deposit that had formed on the tip of my humurus, right where the bone meets the shoulder. So the doctor used an ultrasound to find the deposit, stabbed it with a large needle until it was no longer attached to my shoulder, and used another needle to suck it out. After a few days of recovery, I had full range of motion and no pain in my arm.
Now that my arm is healed up, I'm going to be working out even more than before.
My fixed arm also changed my priorities. When all I could do was work on my lower body, I decided I wanted to do a full marathon next year. Now I'm questioning that. My wife wants to do the Crim next year and I'll run that with her, but I don't know if I want to run a marathon when there's a lot of other stuff I want to do. I want to try powerlifting, martial arts, and work on being able to do my first chin up. If I can do all that and train for a full marathon, great. But I don't want running 26.2 miles being the end-all-be-all of my physical fitness.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Monday, July 27, 2015
My Kids are Turning Me into a Wimp (And I'm Okay With That)
I won't be talking about exercise and fitness this time.
When my first daughter (Hailey) was born, I had no idea how to deal with babies. I was under the faulty assumption that my kids would do everything I say without question, and that's how it was going to be because I'm the dad, and they're not. As comedian Tom Papa said, "I'm going to have kids; I'm going to be the king of the castle. I'm going to make people and rule them." It never occurred to me that even babies have minds of their own, and they aren't going to do things your way just because you want them to.
When my first daughter (Hailey) was born, I had no idea how to deal with babies. I was under the faulty assumption that my kids would do everything I say without question, and that's how it was going to be because I'm the dad, and they're not. As comedian Tom Papa said, "I'm going to have kids; I'm going to be the king of the castle. I'm going to make people and rule them." It never occurred to me that even babies have minds of their own, and they aren't going to do things your way just because you want them to.
I also was a little too determined to make her strong. For the first few weeks Hailey was born, I showed little compassion towards her because I had made up my mind that life is tough, and I was going to have to make her tougher. This meant that even menial tasks like changing a diaper were done with all the care and compassion that one would have changing a spare tire.
I changed my tone after a few weeks when I realized I'm dealing with an infant and not a soldier in Basic Combat Training.
Our second daughter (Laurel) was born a little more than two years later. By that time I had figured out at least the basics of being a parent, so I've been much more patient with her. It helps that unlike my first-born (who did nothing but cry if mommy wasn't holding her for the first six months), Laurel is an incredibly calm baby. When you hold her, she smiles and laughs. She doesn't cry unless she's in distress. Her default setting is sleep. She has to be the most low-maintenance baby in the history of babies.
They're also turning me into wimps. You ever see a grown man who looks like he could rip a phone book in half make funny noises at their baby to get a smile out of them? I'm that guy. When I hold my kids, I shower them with kisses. When I don't have to work, I get out of bed at night to feed Laurel so my wife can sleep. I make bottles and change diapers. Right now I'm reading a book on how to properly raise kids without spanking them, because spanking your kids makes them stupid and turns them into assholes.
Some might say, "Why do you think that's turned you into a wimp?" To them I say: Shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how I dealt with anyone, let alone kids, before I had them? Affection was never my thing. I didn't like most people. To be honest, I still don't, but at least I don't totally zone out when they tell me stories about their lives. Being a war veteran caused me to shut off that part of myself because war doesn't have much room for those kinds of emotions. So yes, I feel like my kids are turning me into a wimp. But I'm okay with that.
I'm still determined to make my kids tough. Like I told my wife when she was pregnant with Hailey, "One out of four women are sexually assaulted at some point in their life. I'm going to make damn well sure that our kid isn't that one." But you can do that while still showing love, too. If anything, it's helping because I've turned exercise into a game with Hailey (as opposed to a chore), and I'll be doing that soon enough with Laurel. Hailey and I spend our time hitting the heavy bag as a way to bond. I don't force her to do it; she begs me to do it. I bought a monkey bar set on Ebay so she'll have fun while she's working her upper body. A kid's center down the street from us offers to teach karate to kids as young as three years old. When Hailey turns three next month, I'm signing her up.
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| $200 down the drain. Thanks, Obama! |
I changed my tone after a few weeks when I realized I'm dealing with an infant and not a soldier in Basic Combat Training.
Our second daughter (Laurel) was born a little more than two years later. By that time I had figured out at least the basics of being a parent, so I've been much more patient with her. It helps that unlike my first-born (who did nothing but cry if mommy wasn't holding her for the first six months), Laurel is an incredibly calm baby. When you hold her, she smiles and laughs. She doesn't cry unless she's in distress. Her default setting is sleep. She has to be the most low-maintenance baby in the history of babies.
They're also turning me into wimps. You ever see a grown man who looks like he could rip a phone book in half make funny noises at their baby to get a smile out of them? I'm that guy. When I hold my kids, I shower them with kisses. When I don't have to work, I get out of bed at night to feed Laurel so my wife can sleep. I make bottles and change diapers. Right now I'm reading a book on how to properly raise kids without spanking them, because spanking your kids makes them stupid and turns them into assholes.
Some might say, "Why do you think that's turned you into a wimp?" To them I say: Shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how I dealt with anyone, let alone kids, before I had them? Affection was never my thing. I didn't like most people. To be honest, I still don't, but at least I don't totally zone out when they tell me stories about their lives. Being a war veteran caused me to shut off that part of myself because war doesn't have much room for those kinds of emotions. So yes, I feel like my kids are turning me into a wimp. But I'm okay with that.
I'm still determined to make my kids tough. Like I told my wife when she was pregnant with Hailey, "One out of four women are sexually assaulted at some point in their life. I'm going to make damn well sure that our kid isn't that one." But you can do that while still showing love, too. If anything, it's helping because I've turned exercise into a game with Hailey (as opposed to a chore), and I'll be doing that soon enough with Laurel. Hailey and I spend our time hitting the heavy bag as a way to bond. I don't force her to do it; she begs me to do it. I bought a monkey bar set on Ebay so she'll have fun while she's working her upper body. A kid's center down the street from us offers to teach karate to kids as young as three years old. When Hailey turns three next month, I'm signing her up.
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Gotta Do Something New
Hello, everyone. I've been wanting to write about my training for Steelhead for a few weeks now, but I've been so busy with school and my new daughter that I haven't had much time for writing.
Unfortunately, there's not much to say on that front, as I quit training a few days ago and will not be resuming it anytime soon.
I've always had bad knees, even when I was a teenager. They're so bad that I had to lie to the Army about them in order to join them back when I was 21 years old. The combination of long bike rides and long runs needed to do a half triathlon is too much for my knees to handle.
I'm disappointed that I won't be able to do the race. But there are some upsides to quitting.
For starters, I had to exercise for up to three hours a day. I have two daughters now, and I don't like spending that much time away from my family. I felt selfish leaving my wife behind with the two kids because my workout required me to go bike riding for 30 miles.
I also have a constant fear of injury. Last year I kept making the mistake of trying to train though the pain. Because of that, I went through two major injuries. The last of which, my shoulder, has yet to heal up completely and might never be fully healed. I've had steroid shots, physical therapy, and with all of that I have been able to regain a full range of motion in my right arm. There's still a little bit of pain though, and if I over exert myself I could end up back at square one. I will probably have to look at surgical options somewhere down the line. This fear has kept me from working as hard as I need to do a half triathlon.
I also want to do more weight training. I lost a lot of strength while I was healing from my injuries. It's been nine months since I've had a good weight lifting session.
So I've been looking at new options for exercise. I decided that I needed a workout that would meet the following requirements:
1. It has to involve weight training. I need to increase my strength.
2. I have to be able to do most of it at home. I want my oldest daughter to watch me lift weights so she can learn how to do them herself. I know there are some things I might need a gym for, but I want to be able to use my workouts as a way to bond with my family.
3. The workouts need to burn a maximum amount of calories while minimizing risk of injury.
So after doing some research, I decided that High-Intensity Interval Training would be right up my alley. I found a workout plan that uses weightlifting for the HIIT routine, with a low amount of weight (so I won't mess up my shoulder) and an insane number of reps to ensure that I can increase both my endurance and strength. I found another website that has alternative exercises I can do when I need to do an exercise that requires a special machine.
The plan is only six weeks long, which is good because that's normally the time I start getting bored and look for a new workout plan.
I'm also going to combine that with some standard cardio. I learned to love running, and I don't want to stop. When my knees heal up (I should be good in a few days), I'll start hitting the road again. I'll still do some swimming too. I just signed a year-long family contract with my high school to use their gym and pool, so I'll be able to justify my spending on that.
I also want to get back into MMA. Since I'm not going to be doing any races this year, it seems like something I should do to help keep me motivated to exercise. I love doing martial arts and I'm anxious to get back in it. I'll have to let whomever I'm grappling with know about my shoulder so they don't destroy it in an arm lock. I'll wait on that though, as I want to see if I'll need surgery to recover. Most dojos lock you into a year-long contract, and I don't want to be paying for something I can't use.
Unfortunately, there's not much to say on that front, as I quit training a few days ago and will not be resuming it anytime soon.
I've always had bad knees, even when I was a teenager. They're so bad that I had to lie to the Army about them in order to join them back when I was 21 years old. The combination of long bike rides and long runs needed to do a half triathlon is too much for my knees to handle.
I'm disappointed that I won't be able to do the race. But there are some upsides to quitting.
For starters, I had to exercise for up to three hours a day. I have two daughters now, and I don't like spending that much time away from my family. I felt selfish leaving my wife behind with the two kids because my workout required me to go bike riding for 30 miles.
I also have a constant fear of injury. Last year I kept making the mistake of trying to train though the pain. Because of that, I went through two major injuries. The last of which, my shoulder, has yet to heal up completely and might never be fully healed. I've had steroid shots, physical therapy, and with all of that I have been able to regain a full range of motion in my right arm. There's still a little bit of pain though, and if I over exert myself I could end up back at square one. I will probably have to look at surgical options somewhere down the line. This fear has kept me from working as hard as I need to do a half triathlon.
I also want to do more weight training. I lost a lot of strength while I was healing from my injuries. It's been nine months since I've had a good weight lifting session.
So I've been looking at new options for exercise. I decided that I needed a workout that would meet the following requirements:
1. It has to involve weight training. I need to increase my strength.
2. I have to be able to do most of it at home. I want my oldest daughter to watch me lift weights so she can learn how to do them herself. I know there are some things I might need a gym for, but I want to be able to use my workouts as a way to bond with my family.
3. The workouts need to burn a maximum amount of calories while minimizing risk of injury.
So after doing some research, I decided that High-Intensity Interval Training would be right up my alley. I found a workout plan that uses weightlifting for the HIIT routine, with a low amount of weight (so I won't mess up my shoulder) and an insane number of reps to ensure that I can increase both my endurance and strength. I found another website that has alternative exercises I can do when I need to do an exercise that requires a special machine.
The plan is only six weeks long, which is good because that's normally the time I start getting bored and look for a new workout plan.
I'm also going to combine that with some standard cardio. I learned to love running, and I don't want to stop. When my knees heal up (I should be good in a few days), I'll start hitting the road again. I'll still do some swimming too. I just signed a year-long family contract with my high school to use their gym and pool, so I'll be able to justify my spending on that.
I also want to get back into MMA. Since I'm not going to be doing any races this year, it seems like something I should do to help keep me motivated to exercise. I love doing martial arts and I'm anxious to get back in it. I'll have to let whomever I'm grappling with know about my shoulder so they don't destroy it in an arm lock. I'll wait on that though, as I want to see if I'll need surgery to recover. Most dojos lock you into a year-long contract, and I don't want to be paying for something I can't use.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Been a Good Couple of Days
It's been two months since I last wrote? Jesus Christ...
I've had a couple of really good days recently. For starters, my wife gave birth to our second child:
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| Don't stare too long, or you'll die from over exposure to cuteness! |
We named her Laurel, after Dinah Laurel Lance, a.k.a., the Black Canary. Why not Dinah? Because I don't want to hear I've Been Working on the Railroad in my head every time I say her name!
I wanted to name her after a superhero so she always has a reminder to be strong. I was going to go with Jean after Jean Grey, but my wife said that was a no-go.
I've been euphorically happy ever since she's been born. That's strange for me, as I'm not a happy person in general. The lack of depression, anxiety, and other PTSD-induced moods is unusual for me. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
But this is a blog about my fitness and weight-loss journey, so let me give you an update on that as well.
In my last entry, I mentioned my shoulder injury, and how that was preventing me from exercising. I got tired of waiting for it to heal on its own, so I went to the doctor and they prescribed physical therapy. The therapist looked at my x-rays and determined that my injury was due to a chunk of muscle getting caught between my collar bone and a bone in my shoulder (ouch!) Any time I exerted myself, the bones would grind against the muscle, causing pain.
After five weeks of physical therapy, my shoulder is about 99% healed up. There's no pain, but just enough of a feeling to remind me that the injury is still there. I'm not doing any exercise outside of physical therapy until it's at 100%, lest I aggravate it.
But I hope that it'll be healed up fully by next week (knock on wood). After that, I start training for my half-triathlon.
Unlike when I was prepping for the half-marathon, I won't be doing too much training outside of the sixteen-week plan so I don't over-exert myself like I did last time. I'm going to do weight-training just twice a week to gain more strength to help my speed for the race. I'm struggling to make the time limit for the swim (you get 70 minutes to swim 1.2 miles; right now it takes me 80), but I'm hoping that changes as I train. You get eight hours to finish the race overall. My goal for the race is to do the swim under one hour, and the bicycling in three. That will leave me with four hours to do the run, which means I could practically walk it if I wanted to (and I'll probably be able to do little more than a slow jog at that point, anyway).
So it's been a good couple of days. I have a new daughter, and I'll hopefully be back in the gym soon enough (once again, knocking on wood). Life is good.
Friday, December 26, 2014
If It's Not One Thing, It's Another...
Now that my abdominal muscles are all healed up and I'm just getting back in the swing of things, I start feeling an incredible pain in my right shoulder. Then my knees.
So now I'm not working out again.
I already know why my knees are hurting. If you do all your running on the treadmill, eventually my knees won't be able to deal with it.
But I have no idea what happened to my shoulder. It just hurts to lift anything.
This is pissing me off to no end. I got the gastric surgery so I could lose weight and do all of the athletic stuff that I used to do. But I keep getting hurt.
I love exercising. When I don't, I feel terrible. And I'm tired of feeling crappy because I can't do the only thing that seems to work for relieving stress.
I'll be seeing a doctor next week. But if it's anything like the doctors that dealt with my ab injury, they'll just tell me they can't do anything.
So now I'm not working out again.
I already know why my knees are hurting. If you do all your running on the treadmill, eventually my knees won't be able to deal with it.
But I have no idea what happened to my shoulder. It just hurts to lift anything.
This is pissing me off to no end. I got the gastric surgery so I could lose weight and do all of the athletic stuff that I used to do. But I keep getting hurt.
I love exercising. When I don't, I feel terrible. And I'm tired of feeling crappy because I can't do the only thing that seems to work for relieving stress.
I'll be seeing a doctor next week. But if it's anything like the doctors that dealt with my ab injury, they'll just tell me they can't do anything.
Saturday, December 13, 2014
I Hate Eating Right Now
Now that I'm working out again I have to consume a lot of protein to make sure my body can recover from all the exercise I'm doing.
And I hate it.
I have to shove steak and scrambled eggs down my gullet every morning. I have to drink at least two disgusting protein shakes every day. And every time I do, I feel like I just finished Thanksgiving dinner.
Protein makes you feel full. Very full.
If I don't do it, I drag ass in the gym. I struggle to finish my runs, and I can barely lift any weights. I have to eat to get better.
Eating used to be fun, back when I was fat and ate whatever I was craving. Now, eating requires discipline.
It also involves constant counting. "Let's see, I had a protein shake with milk this morning, so that's 76 grams of protein. I ate ground beef for lunch, which has 50 grams. Had a piece of chicken with vegetables for dinner, which was 35 grams. All in all, I ate 161 grams. I need to eat 40-90 grams more or else fuck my workout. And it's 10 p.m. Fuuuuuuck."
When you're not working out, most people only need around 60 grams of protein a day. But when you exercise vigorously sports nutritionists tend to recommend at least one gram for every pound that you weigh, if not more. I'm not even consuming that much. I can't eat that much food.
Oh well. This is the price I'm paying to achieve athletic excellence. This is what it will take to do a half-triathlon next year. This is what it will take to become eligible for skydiving. This is what it will take to maintain a healthy body.
It also means that I have to exercise even when I'm not in the mood. When I'm too exhausted. Like today. I have a short, three mile run today. Nothing I can't handle, except I'm sleepy as shit right now. I need the motivation to hit the treadmill. I'll find it eventually. In the meantime, I need to make a protein shake.
Enjoy the video.
And I hate it.
I have to shove steak and scrambled eggs down my gullet every morning. I have to drink at least two disgusting protein shakes every day. And every time I do, I feel like I just finished Thanksgiving dinner.
Protein makes you feel full. Very full.
If I don't do it, I drag ass in the gym. I struggle to finish my runs, and I can barely lift any weights. I have to eat to get better.
Eating used to be fun, back when I was fat and ate whatever I was craving. Now, eating requires discipline.
It also involves constant counting. "Let's see, I had a protein shake with milk this morning, so that's 76 grams of protein. I ate ground beef for lunch, which has 50 grams. Had a piece of chicken with vegetables for dinner, which was 35 grams. All in all, I ate 161 grams. I need to eat 40-90 grams more or else fuck my workout. And it's 10 p.m. Fuuuuuuck."
When you're not working out, most people only need around 60 grams of protein a day. But when you exercise vigorously sports nutritionists tend to recommend at least one gram for every pound that you weigh, if not more. I'm not even consuming that much. I can't eat that much food.
Oh well. This is the price I'm paying to achieve athletic excellence. This is what it will take to do a half-triathlon next year. This is what it will take to become eligible for skydiving. This is what it will take to maintain a healthy body.
It also means that I have to exercise even when I'm not in the mood. When I'm too exhausted. Like today. I have a short, three mile run today. Nothing I can't handle, except I'm sleepy as shit right now. I need the motivation to hit the treadmill. I'll find it eventually. In the meantime, I need to make a protein shake.
Enjoy the video.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
It's Been A Year!
I got my surgery one year ago yesterday. Since then I've lost 100 pounds and I feel damn good. I'm more athletic than I've ever been before (even when I was young and thin in the Army). I ran a half-marathon and I signed up for a half-triathlon next year. Women look at me (sorry ladies, still happily married), and I just love the way I look when I look in the mirror. In fact, I'm pretty sure my wife gets annoyed with all the time I spend checking myself out. :)
My life isn't perfect. Far from it. But at least now I'm not plagued with the problems that came with obesity and food addiction.
The other day a friend on Facebook hit me up with advice about getting bariatric surgery. If you're overweight and have failed to lose the weight for years after constant diet and exercise programs, then I absolutely recommend that you get it. Make sure that your insurance will cover it. Under the Affordable Care Act most insurance companies now have policies on the various exchanges that cover bariatric surgery under certain conditions. You usually have to have a BMI of 40+, or a BMI of at least 35 with a obesity-related condition to be eligible, and they'll expect you to spend six months on a diet regulated by the surgeon first. If you can't meet those conditions, you'll have to pay out of pocket. Some surgeons have financing options. As for what type of surgery to get, you'll have to ask the doc about that. I picked the gastric sleeve because I wanted something more permanent than the lap band, but I still wanted to be able to eat enough to meet the nutritional requirements for when I decided to start doing athletic things.
Anyway, I still have a lot of fitness goals to meet. Along with doing the half-tri next year, I still need to get below 240 so that I'll be eligible for skydiving. I'm looking forward to the day when I get to face my fear of heights and jump out of a perfectly good airplane. :)
My life isn't perfect. Far from it. But at least now I'm not plagued with the problems that came with obesity and food addiction.
The other day a friend on Facebook hit me up with advice about getting bariatric surgery. If you're overweight and have failed to lose the weight for years after constant diet and exercise programs, then I absolutely recommend that you get it. Make sure that your insurance will cover it. Under the Affordable Care Act most insurance companies now have policies on the various exchanges that cover bariatric surgery under certain conditions. You usually have to have a BMI of 40+, or a BMI of at least 35 with a obesity-related condition to be eligible, and they'll expect you to spend six months on a diet regulated by the surgeon first. If you can't meet those conditions, you'll have to pay out of pocket. Some surgeons have financing options. As for what type of surgery to get, you'll have to ask the doc about that. I picked the gastric sleeve because I wanted something more permanent than the lap band, but I still wanted to be able to eat enough to meet the nutritional requirements for when I decided to start doing athletic things.
Anyway, I still have a lot of fitness goals to meet. Along with doing the half-tri next year, I still need to get below 240 so that I'll be eligible for skydiving. I'm looking forward to the day when I get to face my fear of heights and jump out of a perfectly good airplane. :)
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