Working in a hospital in the middle of a plague had one benefit; I was one of the first people to get fully vaccinated against Covid. Just before my fortieth birthday I got my second shot and was finally able to stop being worried about the disease. My whole house eventually got vaccinated (except for my kids, obviously), and I stopped giving a shit about Covid completely.
I wanted to have a life again. Not that I had one much before. Having to take care of two kids and having a night shift job that had me working weekends made it hard to have a life before Covid, but dammit, I was able to go outside again and I didn't want the opportunity to pass me by.
There was just one problem: Quarantine had not only drained me of pretty much any joy I had in life, but it had dragged on for so long that when I thought about what made me happy, I didn't even have an answer. I couldn't even remember what I did to make me happy.
I'm sure I'm not the only person that felt this way or is still feeling this way. This fucking plague seemed to either turn people into Q-anon obsessed covidiots, or you developed gut wrenching anxiety at the thought of being around other people and doing anything. I was definitely in the latter camp. I'd go to work at the hospital, go to Kroger in the early morning when my shift was over to get groceries (when nobody was in the store), and otherwise stayed at home and argued online with idiots. I couldn't even remember life before quarantine. It felt like a lifetime ago, and the inability to even remember what brought me joy was scary.
A few days ago I watched Bo Burnham's new special on Netflix. Titled, "Bo Burnham: Inside", Burnham did an entire special filmed in his home. I watched it the first time and liked it because the depression he was feeling from quarantine felt relatable. So I gave it a second watch. Then a third. And finally a fourth after five days. What I first saw as some mild depression was actually a descent into full blown madness. Bo had lost his fucking mind from the isolation, and you're not sure if you're watching his mental health decline as a performance, reality, or somewhere in between. Quarantine got to all of us. Some harder than others.
Seriously, go watch "Bo Burnham: Inside" on Netflix. It's a work of genius.
And like Bo Burnham using his special to distract himself from life under quarantine, we also found ourselves doing new hobbies or other things to keep our mind occupied. A bunch of men who probably couldn't boil water learned to make their own bread. TikTok exploded with new users, making entertainers out of bored teenagers and young adults. I became a prepper and learned how to garden and can my own food so I don't have to worry if the grocery stores run out of food again. We were stuck inside, so we found all sorts of creative ways to distract ourselves from the isolation and depression. We did all this while it seemed like the world outside was going more and more crazy.
Now it looks like the twilight of this plague is finally upon us (with no help from the covidiots; seriously, fuck each and every one of you with a broom stick) and we have to return to life again. And some of us are going to have to do some serious introspection to figure out what we need to do to be happy again.
I started doing karate again at a new school with my kids, since my old one was shut down. I also started taking up Brazilian Ju Jitsu, but had to quit because of the shoulder injury I mentioned in my last post. After my work life caused me to be socially isolated long before Covid (mentioned in my first post in this series), I want to go out and meet people again. That's going to be difficult because my economic isolation is still there, but I've been putting in the effort as best I can. I saw old friends that I hadn't hung out with in nearly two years. I even quit drinking. I don't know what my fitness journey is going to be from here on out, as I can't lift weights and won't be able to for the next several months. I'm going to be in a shoulder sling, so I won't even be able to run. But all of us have a chance to be happy that has eluded us for the past fifteen months and I'm not going to miss out on the opportunity.
Enjoy the song:
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