A few weeks ago, I said that I was going to start doing the Westside Method, along with running, so I could do both powerlifting and running at the same time.
The first workout had me doing box squats. After doing a few warmup sets, I set the bar at 225 pounds.
I had never squatted 225 pounds, but I was confident that I could do it, because:
A) I was only lifting one rep.
B) I'm starting out on a box, so it's only a half rep, anyway.
So, I put the bar on my back and sat down on the box. I positioned my feet.
"Okay. Ready to lift on 1...2...3."
As I moved up, my legs screamed out, "NOPE!", and I fell forward.
Fortunately, I had the sense to get down on my knees and push the weight off of my shoulders while I slid from under the bar. The bar landed with a loud clanging sound on the floor.
I looked up to see if anyone saw me. Fortunately, the only other person in the gym was a woman on a stairclimber on the other side of the gym. She didn't see shit.
Then, I looked to make sure the gym didn't have any security cameras pointed at me. Nope. Looks like I'm not going to be a viral video.
Thank God.
I looked at the bar lying on the ground, and I kicked myself for having this be THE ONE DAY that I forgot to set up the safety bars on the cage.
I did two things that day that I always tell others to avoid doing. I let my ego write a check my ass (and legs) couldn't cash, and I forgot to be safe. Thankfully, I didn't have much injury to little more than my ego.
As far as running and powerlifting go, using the Westside Method was a failure. The second leg workout just put too much stress on my legs, and I felt like Jell-O for the next couple of days.
With that workout being scrapped, I tried to split my lifting, so I'd only do squats and deadlifts one day a week, while I worked on my upper body four days out of the week. I would run three days a week.
That failed too, because everything I was doing was indirectly working my abdominal muscles, and I ended up with the same muscle strain that nearly took me out while I was training for my half marathon.
I might just have to accept that I'm getting older. When I was 21, I could have done all this stuff on three hours of sleep. Now, I have to keep a strict diet just to be able to have the energy to work out and recover.
So as of now, I'm not running. Tomorrow I will get back on the Stronglifts 5x5 routine. My new plan is to do that until I reach my lifting goals. After that, I'll start running again while keeping a very basic bodybuilding routine so I can keep my strength.
When you've had a series of epic fails on your fitness journey, it's important to remember that failure is all part of the process. I'm sure even The Rock has had bad days in the gym. I'm still in great shape, and I'll get to where I want to be eventually if I work at it.
Sunday, August 28, 2016
Advice for Beginners - Part Two
About a month ago I wrote a post giving advice to people that want to start out being healthier. In the section on exercise, I said to make it a point to do some sort of physical activity for an hour a day, five days a week. You didn't necessarily have to join a gym, start lifting weights, or running (unless you wanted to), but just find something that keeps you physically active for an hour. I made it a point to say that you shouldn't have a specific goal in mind, because goals come later.
Well, later has come. After spending a month being active, you probably found something that you enjoy doing. Now that you've reached that point, it's time to start focusing on goals.
Goals are what keep us motivated to exercise. If I hadn't decided to run a half-marathon back in 2014, I wouldn't have ran five days a week, often for several miles at a time. It's a rare person that would decide to run nine miles for no reason. It was the race that kept me motivated.
So, whatever you decided to start doing, set a goal and work to achieve it. If you decided to start walking, you might consider walking a half-marathon. If you decided to start lifting weights, set a goal for how much you want to be able to lift. So on and so forth.
Make sure you have a short term goal and a long term goal. I did a series of small races before running a half-marathon, starting with a race that was just short of a mile. I moved up to a 5k, then a 10k, and a 10 mile race. Each race was a short term goal that eventually led to reaching my long term goal of running 13.1 miles.
My short term goals have changed quite a bit since then. Currently, my short term goals are to be able to squat and deadlift 350 pounds in a five-rep set, and to bench 250. I also want to run three miles in under 24 minutes.
My long term goal is to be able to do the Jason Statham Workout.
Don't be frustrated if you don't meet all of your goals, either. At the very least, you'll be in better shape than when you started.
Well, later has come. After spending a month being active, you probably found something that you enjoy doing. Now that you've reached that point, it's time to start focusing on goals.
Goals are what keep us motivated to exercise. If I hadn't decided to run a half-marathon back in 2014, I wouldn't have ran five days a week, often for several miles at a time. It's a rare person that would decide to run nine miles for no reason. It was the race that kept me motivated.
So, whatever you decided to start doing, set a goal and work to achieve it. If you decided to start walking, you might consider walking a half-marathon. If you decided to start lifting weights, set a goal for how much you want to be able to lift. So on and so forth.
Make sure you have a short term goal and a long term goal. I did a series of small races before running a half-marathon, starting with a race that was just short of a mile. I moved up to a 5k, then a 10k, and a 10 mile race. Each race was a short term goal that eventually led to reaching my long term goal of running 13.1 miles.
My short term goals have changed quite a bit since then. Currently, my short term goals are to be able to squat and deadlift 350 pounds in a five-rep set, and to bench 250. I also want to run three miles in under 24 minutes.
My long term goal is to be able to do the Jason Statham Workout.
Don't be frustrated if you don't meet all of your goals, either. At the very least, you'll be in better shape than when you started.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Conversations Around a Dead Body
I meant to write this last week, but of course life got in the way.
Just before I entered high school, three friends found themselves through a love of punk rock. They called themselves the Moron Brothers, despite the song of the same name being the exact opposite of who they were. They weren't idiots, or losers, or scum. They weren't taking advantage of anyone. Yet, the song was funny enough for them to give themselves the name anyway.
When I entered my sophomore year of high school, I became the fourth member of the Moron Brotherhood. I was adopted into the group that made up of Chris, Mike, and Ger(ald).
We had other friends during our time in high school, but of the Moron Brothers, we were the core group. After high school, we did our best to stay together, even though some of us moved far away. Despite meeting nearly two decades ago, we made it a point to all get together when we were all in town, so we could catch up and talk about the good and bad times that had passed.
A little more than two weeks ago, I got a call from Ger. He told me that Chris had passed away.
No one knows how he died. The only information that Ger had to give was that his kids found his body on the couch in the living room. Nobody knew anything else.
Chris had a myriad of health problems, both mental and physical, so as of now, we still don't know how he died. Was it a suicide? We don't know. Was it a heart attack at his incredibly young age? We don't know. Was it a drug overdose? We don't know. As it stands, we still don't fucking know.
I went to Chris' viewing with Mike and a few other friends from high school. When Mike asked his family about his death, they said they were waiting on a toxicology report, and it wouldn't be provided for a few weeks. We still don't know how he died.
During the viewing, I talked with Mike and a few others from high school. We were still in a relative state of denial. The funeral home had a slideshow on their television where they showed a whole bunch of pictures of Chris from the time he was a child to their most recent photo. We had a good laugh at his pictures, especially the ones from our high school days. I made it a point of taking a shot on my phone of this one:
Eventually, my friends and I managed to find our way to his corpse in the casket. His body looked like the makeup guy at the funeral home went to town on him and added way too much makeup. His body looked like it had much more melanin in it than his real body had when he was alive. It was as if it was a fake version of his body was lying in the casket. I wanted to touch his face to make sure it wasn't some mannequin lying in the casket, and I'm fairly sure at least some of my friends wanted to do the same, but we knew better than to do such things. Even if his skin looked like it had spent too much time in Florida on spring break, it was still him all the same.
While we were surrounding his body, Mike kept talking about he was once some happy-go-lucky kid that was always up for anything. I think he was trying to romanticize Chris' life. I met Chris just after he nearly killed himself over an ex-girlfriend. He was never a happy-go-lucky kid to me. He was just an idiot with mental issues.
I told Mike and the others in our party, "I keep trying to remember a good memory of Chris, but honestly, I can't remember any time when he was with us that he wasn't a fucking idiot...goddamn it, he was a jackass, but he was our jackass." Mike agreed with that assessment.
That probably sums up Chris' life, or at least what I remember of it. In high school, he loved to brag about how much he masturbated (during that time in high school when bragging about such things was both funny and taboo at the same time). He would attempt to bed the Christian girls that he dated by becoming engaged to them (in high school, an engagement usually means nothing, and he knew that). In adulthood, he joined the Army Reserves as a Petroleum Supply Specialist and did his time in the sandbox without Ger or me (who also did our own time in different Army companies). He married too young, had kids too young, and kept figuring out his own life as he went along without much regard for what he did next.
Chris was a jackass, but he was our jackass. I really can't emphasize that last part enough. He was our jackass; the one crazy friend that everyone has in their group. The friend that you always tried to convince to not do some stupid shit, but did anyway, and ended up with some funny stories as a result.
During adulthood, Chris had many jobs in his adult life that took its toll on his body. After the military, he ended up being a paramedic (and convinced me to get my EMT license because of it). After lifting bodies onto stretchers ruined his back, he did his best to get a job with one of the auto plants around here. Last we all knew, he became a Realtor, and kept hounding us to give up our personal information so he could put us on an email list to impress his boss. He was struggling to get his life together up until the very end.
That was a week before he died.
We still don't know how he died. Of all the things that suck about his death, that tops the list. I'd at least like to know that he didn't take his own life. In the darkest parts of my mind, I need to know that his death wasn't self-inflicted. Yet, as of this writing, we don't know what happened.
If there's one thing I can give advice on concerning his death, it's that life is too fucking short, and you need to spend it with the people you love. Enjoy your life while you have it with people that care about you. The Moron Brothers spent way too much time apart despite our love for one another, and it took a tragedy to bring us together again. Make it a point to spend time with your friends, your family, and those that you love. The moment that you spend with them might be your last.
Anyway, as I stood around Chris' body with my friends, we all took a good, hard look at his body as it lay in the casket. I said to the group:
"Chris was such a prankster, that I keep thinking that he's going to pop out of the casket any second now and scream, 'SURPRISE, BITCHES!'"
It's something that Chris would have done. The asshole would have faked his own death just to pull a prank.
I really wish he had done that.
He didn't.
Here's to you, Chris:
Just before I entered high school, three friends found themselves through a love of punk rock. They called themselves the Moron Brothers, despite the song of the same name being the exact opposite of who they were. They weren't idiots, or losers, or scum. They weren't taking advantage of anyone. Yet, the song was funny enough for them to give themselves the name anyway.
When I entered my sophomore year of high school, I became the fourth member of the Moron Brotherhood. I was adopted into the group that made up of Chris, Mike, and Ger(ald).
We had other friends during our time in high school, but of the Moron Brothers, we were the core group. After high school, we did our best to stay together, even though some of us moved far away. Despite meeting nearly two decades ago, we made it a point to all get together when we were all in town, so we could catch up and talk about the good and bad times that had passed.
A little more than two weeks ago, I got a call from Ger. He told me that Chris had passed away.
No one knows how he died. The only information that Ger had to give was that his kids found his body on the couch in the living room. Nobody knew anything else.
Chris had a myriad of health problems, both mental and physical, so as of now, we still don't know how he died. Was it a suicide? We don't know. Was it a heart attack at his incredibly young age? We don't know. Was it a drug overdose? We don't know. As it stands, we still don't fucking know.
I went to Chris' viewing with Mike and a few other friends from high school. When Mike asked his family about his death, they said they were waiting on a toxicology report, and it wouldn't be provided for a few weeks. We still don't know how he died.
During the viewing, I talked with Mike and a few others from high school. We were still in a relative state of denial. The funeral home had a slideshow on their television where they showed a whole bunch of pictures of Chris from the time he was a child to their most recent photo. We had a good laugh at his pictures, especially the ones from our high school days. I made it a point of taking a shot on my phone of this one:
 |
| Chris is the one on the left, in what is most likely the most 90s picture of the entire 1990s. |
While we were surrounding his body, Mike kept talking about he was once some happy-go-lucky kid that was always up for anything. I think he was trying to romanticize Chris' life. I met Chris just after he nearly killed himself over an ex-girlfriend. He was never a happy-go-lucky kid to me. He was just an idiot with mental issues.
I told Mike and the others in our party, "I keep trying to remember a good memory of Chris, but honestly, I can't remember any time when he was with us that he wasn't a fucking idiot...goddamn it, he was a jackass, but he was our jackass." Mike agreed with that assessment.
That probably sums up Chris' life, or at least what I remember of it. In high school, he loved to brag about how much he masturbated (during that time in high school when bragging about such things was both funny and taboo at the same time). He would attempt to bed the Christian girls that he dated by becoming engaged to them (in high school, an engagement usually means nothing, and he knew that). In adulthood, he joined the Army Reserves as a Petroleum Supply Specialist and did his time in the sandbox without Ger or me (who also did our own time in different Army companies). He married too young, had kids too young, and kept figuring out his own life as he went along without much regard for what he did next.
Chris was a jackass, but he was our jackass. I really can't emphasize that last part enough. He was our jackass; the one crazy friend that everyone has in their group. The friend that you always tried to convince to not do some stupid shit, but did anyway, and ended up with some funny stories as a result.
During adulthood, Chris had many jobs in his adult life that took its toll on his body. After the military, he ended up being a paramedic (and convinced me to get my EMT license because of it). After lifting bodies onto stretchers ruined his back, he did his best to get a job with one of the auto plants around here. Last we all knew, he became a Realtor, and kept hounding us to give up our personal information so he could put us on an email list to impress his boss. He was struggling to get his life together up until the very end.
That was a week before he died.
We still don't know how he died. Of all the things that suck about his death, that tops the list. I'd at least like to know that he didn't take his own life. In the darkest parts of my mind, I need to know that his death wasn't self-inflicted. Yet, as of this writing, we don't know what happened.
If there's one thing I can give advice on concerning his death, it's that life is too fucking short, and you need to spend it with the people you love. Enjoy your life while you have it with people that care about you. The Moron Brothers spent way too much time apart despite our love for one another, and it took a tragedy to bring us together again. Make it a point to spend time with your friends, your family, and those that you love. The moment that you spend with them might be your last.
Anyway, as I stood around Chris' body with my friends, we all took a good, hard look at his body as it lay in the casket. I said to the group:
"Chris was such a prankster, that I keep thinking that he's going to pop out of the casket any second now and scream, 'SURPRISE, BITCHES!'"
It's something that Chris would have done. The asshole would have faked his own death just to pull a prank.
I really wish he had done that.
He didn't.
Here's to you, Chris:
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