What if Life has no Meaning (and That's a Good Thing)?

Depression and anxiety can be a real pain in the ass, and I've suffered from both for at least thirteen years. Ever since I got home from my first deployment with the US Army back in 2003, what I refer to as my "default setting" has been anger. When I'm not feeling angry, I'm probably either having a panic attack or had some setback in my life cause me to imagine the worst case scenario. There have been times when I've been happy (like when I ran the half marathon, or when my kids were born), but those moments have been fleeting, and I eventually go back to my default setting. After I got bariatric surgery, I was happy for a little while with all the weight I was losing, and my non-stop exercise was also helping (note to other people suffering from depression: Exercise helps a lot).

I was looking at YouTube videos a few weeks ago when I found a video from a page called Wisecrack. Their videos use pop culture to talk about things like philosophy, literature, history, and psychology. It was there that I found a gem called, "The Philosophy of Rick and Morty".

I had never seen an episode of Rick and Morty in my life, but I liked the video so much that I watched the entire series over the course of three days. Then, I watched the video again.

The video mentions the worldview of three characters on the show. Rick is a nihilist. He understands that life has no meaning. As a result, he's an angry, bitter, and possibly suicidal alcoholic. Another character, Jerry, believes that life has meaning. The show points out that he's wrong, but his ignorance makes him happy despite being wrong.

The third character is Morty. Morty is the grandson of Rick and the son of Jerry. He accompanies Rick on their adventures in time and space. Because of all that he's experienced, he also believes that life doesn't have meaning. Yet, instead of letting it wear him down like Rick, he just rolls with it. His worldview is summed up in a single clip:

"Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch T.V."

I'm told that Morty's philosophy is a variation of absurdism. Absurdism is the idea that life doesn't have meaning, but humans are going to try to find it anyway. According to the philosophy, there's three solutions that humans have when looking for that meaning:

1. Suicide
2. Religion/Spirituality
3. Acceptance of the absurdity of life.

The first two aren't options for me. Despite my numerous thoughts about suicide, I've avoided that because I know my family needs and wants me alive. I waved bye-bye to religion and faith years ago, so finding meaning in a religion isn't going to happen.

That leaves the third option; accept that life is pointless, and enjoy that it is pointless.

For whatever reason, that option made sense to me. Life has no meaning, so I should stop being so stressed out about it. There's no reason to worry. My life is pointless, and that's good. Any mistakes I've made in the past don't matter, and neither do the many problems that I have today. They're all pointless.

As I thought about all of this, my depression lifted away. So what if my life isn't as great as I hoped it would be? Nobody exists on purpose. So what if I'm overqualified for my job? Nobody belongs anywhere. So what if people don't like me? Everybody's gonna die, and that includes those smug assholes.

This doesn't mean that I don't care about anything. I love my family and I still want them to have a good life. I still want to be in the best shape I can be. I want to be good at my job. The point of all this is that I WANT to do these things, and I don't feel compelled to do them. If I fail, it's alright because it was all pointless, anyway. I don't need to constantly be in control of everything anymore.

This also doesn't mean that all of my many mental illnesses are cured. I'm going to have to get some professional help for that, and since my wife took on a new teaching job with awesome health insurance, I'm going to be able to afford the best therapists in the tri-county area. It does mean that I at least have some breathing space to deal with all the bullshit that goes on in my head.

Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch T.V.

Or better yet, go to the gym. :-)